The Epiphany on the Lighthouse Island
I've certainly talked alot about my experiences babysitting the Lighthouse, but I don't think I've ever gone into the epiphany that resulted from our week with the guests from hell. Oh, yes - they were guests because I had invited them and then extended the length of their visit from three days to over a week. By the time they left, I was ready to swim them to the main island on my back! Fortunately, the parks' boat picked them up and we waved them good-bye into the sunset.
After that, I had to face the fact that I had created the monster by not recognizing how many times I bring 'clutter' into my life by using the words - I should and I have to.
Let me define clutter - it's anything that makes you unhealthy, unhappy, uncomfortable or just plain cranky. It usually comes into your life by invitation, but sometimes it just seeps under the door like that pesky tree dust and you don't know it's there until you are sweeping out the debris.
With that realization, I examined how many times in the past I had allowed the 'clutter' to stay with me - compounding the problem by making the clutterers more important than me and allowing the woozy side of me to accept the unacceptable. (This is usually followed by on 'oh, well..and then the imfamous 'I should or I have to' or even -'I have no alternative'. Yikes!
So, the second epiphany - with every difficult decision to act comes three options. (The number of options is an individual thing, but I liked three). They may be outrageous, practical or seemingly selfish by ther peoples' standards - but I pick the one that works for me...and follow through. Hey! The world doesn't end, nobody turns green and its humiliating to hear how many times the others react with a simple 'oh,ok'. Is this liberating - or what? And here's the third epiphany - I come first because I deserve the best! And I fill my life with the best - family, friends, activities etc. without any suggestion of 'shoulds or have tos'.
I know I won't change - we never do, but at least now I recognize when I'm going to walk into clutter and I run, not walk, to the nearest exit.
So, borrow my mantras if you like or use an old one from my husband. He would get up in the morning, open the bedroom drapes and say (rather loudly) "Look out, world - I'm going to knock you on your ass!" OK - that works, too.